Press Release From Santa Clause
For Immediate release:
To whom it may concern…
With the lack of laws for corporate mergers, acquisitions,
severe competition from those laws favoring the To Big to Fail,
leadership bonuses, cancellation of regulatory law
and no will to enforce the few remaining laws not removed in last 20 years,
And Like Most Ma and Pa operations…
This Christmas
There will be no more “CHRISTMAS TOYS”…
The elves and I are forced to move all operations to the Internet.
From this time forward, we will reward the good Boys and Girls via
www.eCHRISTMASTOYS.COM You May Look Things Over at eChritmasCatalog.com
All conventional operations at the North Pole have been closed.
The Reindeer have been laid-off.
Rudolf was retained to power our web servers on a seasonal basis.
The sleigh will be sent to iRepos.com then go to iBankAuction.com
We expect, once this transition is complete,
a 50% reduction in the elf.us workforce will be required.
They should be eligible for eUNEMPLOYMENTiServices.com.
All elves.cn in China will remain as they work for ReindeerNugets.com
Those effected are encouraged to open their own www.iSomething.biz
If you succeed, please use TaxForm.me and pay a share of your proceeds
so that ToBigToFail.Com can keep putting MaAndPa.Biz out to dry.
If you email WashingtonDC.gov ,
Please forward Attention.info to Congress.us.gov
Apparently, this takes Money.com to work if you have any left.
If not, see BankToBigToFail.com to lease your Money.com Back.
Unlikely as they have been giving a bunch of it to
BothPartys@Congress.us.gov where there is a great Money.net
I do wonder what happens when ToBigToFail.com
Finds a way to buy, merge or control Internet.org as it is
the elves last hope ?
( also see iRevolutionaryArmagedon.jobs )
Signed,
The New …..eSantaiClause.com
Hope You Have A Very www.eMERRY iCHRISTMAS.com !